Under the Udala Trees is a novel that’s moving, resilient and important. It’s the story of conflict and reconciliation, of a nation at war with itself, of a mother and daughter at war with each other, and ultimately of a girl at war with her identity and how she comes to acceptance.I have never read a novel quite like this one. I experienced a world wind of emotions as each chapter went on. It was upsetting to see Ijeoma conform to what society and her religion believes is right when she marries Chibundu. “The fact that the bible says it’s bad is all the reason you need.” (Page 75) Mama said. God intended for it to be man and woman. And God intended also for man and woman to bear children. It is the way it should be, so yes, it is an abomination if it is not a man and woman.” Labeling this relationship as an “abomination” left me disgusted and speechless. I was absolutely shocked and saddened by those words. You don’t get to choose who you love, which is why I couldn’t even begin to comprehend the struggle that she had to experience.
I could feel the guilt that she was bearing as I read, and although I know she was executing what would please her mother, it was heartbreaking to read. She was so scared of what her mother would say and scared to go against these norms that society has put into place. I could not imagine being in her shoes. Her heart was pushing for Ndidi, while her head was saying Chibundu. Being forced into having an emotional or sexual attraction to someone, is not how someone should live there life.
It felt as if Ijeoma truly wanted to be eagerly accepted by people, therefore wasn’t willing to take the risk of what she genuinely wanted. At the time, I don’t believe she understood how hard it would be to hide that part of herself and how living in this lie would naturally affect her.
A direct quote from Papa stood out to me from the novel: “Isn’t it the case that the most beautiful fruit might contain a worm?” (Page 217) Something that looks perfect on the outside, isn’t necessarily perfect. Most of the time, that is not the case. In the example of her marriage, although it looks “beautiful” in some eyes (man and woman), the underlying issues of where her heart lies are the ‘worm.’
The key issue of not being able to “come out of the closet” should be supported and encouraged not frowned upon because who would want to live their life as a lie? Everyone deserves to express their true identity.
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